It’s been a year of not giving a damn about her and my feelings and thoughts about her have turned into strong emotions pity and disgust. I honestly cannot believe I’m writing this considering how much I loved and invested in her at one point. I almost hate the fact that she won’t forget me – I wish she would.
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I’ve been having an awful past few days after seeing her with someone else, who was ‘just a friend from classes’. At the end of the day, whether you want closure, to get back together, or for them to stop reaching out, a conversation should probably be had. “Maybe you ask your ex [if they’re pretending to be over you] directly, or you be brave and vulnerable enough to express what it is that you are feeling,” Page notes. As you date someone, you get a sense of their social media presence . Are they suddenly posting a lot more, and particularly posting things that make them seem like they’re thriving without you? These posts could very well be targeted at you, Page says, to create the illusion that they’re doing well.
Sure, it hurts to still love someone that is no longer a partner, but the world is still within your grasp. If you find that you’re still having a hard time letting go, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. There’s no reason for you to get worked out or change your plans if you find out your ex is dating another person. In one way, thinking about your ex dating may be unfair to your current boyfriend.
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Its painful as all hell, but I just gotta keep moving forward. After doing some soul searching, I realized my reasons were different for each person. With the second ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it. There’s nothing wrong with feeling hurt for a while, but time will heal these sad feelings. If you can learn from this relationship, you’ll most likely find someone even better for you in the future. If your ex broke up with you and didn’t care how the breakup affected you, you should be very careful about your ex.
While there’s nothing wrong with exploring the dating scene, wait until you’re fully ready. Not giving yourself enough time to recover will only make you feel worse. Breakups are always hard, but they’re worse when your ex moves on before you. When you find out your ex has a new partner, it’s important to use healthy ways to process the news. Then, you can deal with your feelings by acknowledging how you feel, talking to friends, and journaling.
Taking some time can help you look deep within for what you want from the relationship and can help with examining what love languages you can speak better with your partner. If you feel you and your partner have grown and made positive changes, you might consider revisiting the relationship. While infidelity and a loss of interest are commonly to blame for ending things—sometimes, a clash of personalities could be responsible for the end of a relationship. Before considering how to get back with a former partner, you must be 100% certain that you’re doing so for all the right reasons. Verywell Mind content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers.
I’m kind of worried she broke up with me for someone else, but maybe I’m worrying. Mine seemed distant with me for the week prior to breaking up, however she was hot and cold, distant with sosyncd.com me but kissing me passionately at the end of the date, initiating hand holding, etc. We didn’t sleep together for the last month either, but then we didn’t exactly have sex every week.
I’m telling you this so you don’t get back with an ex just because you can. Before you get back, you need to remember how your ex treated you and what your ex thought of the history you had together. If your ex ignored you, called you names, and started dating someone else shortly after breaking up, you can be certain that your ex hasn’t changed much. If you’re the ex in this situation, what does all this mean for you? Outside of trying to improve on your own relationship with your ex, all you can really do is wait and see—but do so patiently. Nagging or otherwise trying to interfere with your ex’s new relationship will likely only remind your ex of the bad times in your former relationship.
“But if you’re secretly trying to reconcile with someone while courting another, you’re not bringing 100 percent to the table,” says Spira. Imagine your feelings are dripping off, one by one, as you process different facets of what went wrong, she says. “When you look at and let go of those feelings, you will be able to have clarity about the reality of your relationship,” she explains. It happened to me, and I’ve seen it over and over on here. Remember, they didn’t randomly find someone else, they were very likely emotionally cheating at the least, and setting themselves up for when they left the relationship.
Your ex needs to be afraid of your rejection because fear indicates that your ex cares about you a lot and that he or she is serious about getting back with you. Your ex can’t be manipulated with push-pull techniques and various devious tactics. Not unless your ex is emotionally ready and wants to be persuaded.
When you both feel ready to take the next step, then you can discuss your next move together. How you go about this can be entirely up to you and how you interpret their response. Now is not the time to consider who was right or wrong, but rather, it’s a time to review what could have been done differently for a happier outcome. You can also lighten the mood and discuss happier times in your relationship. What you should know, however, is that anyone that gives you this guidance is looking out for your best interest.